Thursday, June 30, 2005

Never is enough?

I went back to Iowa, and to Chicago this weekend. Had a great time! I love my friends here in Maryland, but part of me is dying to go back.
Here's my idea/pipe dream, with two options that are semi/probably not feasible:
a) Stay in VA at current job(s) for 1 year, moving to Iowa next July. In this option, I save money and try to pay off debt while also attempting to live semi-comforably in Northern Virginia. No easy task, I assure you. But if I work 4 days a week at MENC, and work at the church, I should save some/ pay off some every month. The problem with this idea is that I'm not sure I can handle all this at once. Some people could, but I'm not sure I can. I'm very glad that people want to tell me that I can do things, and be positive, but the fact is, I seem to have limits on multi-tasking, or tasks that I can do in general, that others don't have. Whether this is due to ADD, introversion, or just the way I'm wired, that's the way it is. I'm not lazy, I'm not neurotic, and I'm not making excuses, people that's the FUCKING WAY IT IS. I'm not apologizing any more. Wow where did all this come from? ;)
2) The other option, is to move to Iowa instead of Virginia in a month. It makes no sense, as I have no job, but hear me out. I've got a few buds left there, and they'll put me up for cheap (like 200-300 a month, no sec. deposit, actually that's the going rate, it's possible that they'd cut me a deal for even less...) while I find a job. There are many problems with this plan:

a) I am sorta broke. Actually I owe Mom money. I have a few bucks in the bank account, which must go towards my last month's rent. It takes money to move and I don't have any. I could sell my furniture and leave it here, but even then I'd need gas money or something. Food money, etc. The people at the house would probably let me live rent free for a week or two to help me out, but I'd rather not stretch the boundaries of their hospitality. And I'm sure that Mom and Grandma would choose not to participate in such a foolhardy move, which means I'd have to get some unfortunate friend to help me lug my stuff across the country. Actually, to stop me from going, my Mom might (and she would certainly be correct to do so) demand I pay back my loan from her before leaving. I can't afford to do that, and move. Actually I'm not sure I can even afford to move, period. I'd have to start temping, ASAP when I got there, and it is always hard to work and look for a job at the same time.
b) Jobs are kinda scarce out there anyway. Will I be able to find what I want to do?

SO those are my two options, if I decide to move. Actually, neither really sounds all that good. Neither is very conducive to saving money - I have the feeling that I'll still be just getting by if I live in Leesburg, and I'll be in a similar place financially next year when I'm supposedly going to move. What's my option three??

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Bad News

This is a bunch of crap:

Supreme Court Rules Cities May Seize Homes
By HOPE YEN, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON - A divided Supreme Court ruled Thursday that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses against their will for private development in a decision anxiously awaited in communities where economic growth often is at war with individual property rights.

The 5-4 ruling — assailed by dissenting Justice
Sandra Day O'Connor as handing "disproportionate influence and power" to the well-heeled in America — was a defeat for Connecticut residents whose homes are slated for destruction to make room for an office complex. They had argued that cities have no right to take their land except for projects with a clear public use, such as roads or schools, or to revitalize blighted areas.
As a result, cities now have wide power to bulldoze residences for projects such as shopping malls and hotel complexes in order to generate tax revenue.
The case was one of six resolved by justices on Thursday. Still pending at the high court are cases dealing with the constitutionality of government Ten Commandments displays and the liability of Internet file-sharing services for clients' illegal swapping of copyrighted songs and movies. The Supreme Court next meets on Monday.
Writing for the court's majority in Thursday's ruling, Justice
John Paul Stevens said local officials, not federal judges, know best in deciding whether a development project will benefit the community. States are within their rights to pass additional laws restricting condemnations if residents are overly burdened, he said.
"The city has carefully formulated an economic development that it believes will provide appreciable benefits to the community, including — but by no means limited to — new jobs and increased tax revenue," Stevens wrote in an opinion joined by Justice
Anthony Kennedy, David H. Souter,
Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen G. Breyer.
"It is not for the courts to oversee the choice of the boundary line nor to sit in review on the size of a particular project area," he said.
O'Connor, who has often been a key swing vote at the court, issued a stinging dissent, arguing that cities should not have unlimited authority to uproot families, even if they are provided compensation, simply to accommodate wealthy developers.
"Any property may now be taken for the benefit of another private party, but the fallout from this decision will not be random," she wrote. "The beneficiaries are likely to be those citizens with disproportionate influence and power in the political process, including large corporations and development firms."
Connecticut residents involved in the lawsuit expressed dismay and pledged to keep fighting.
"It's a little shocking to believe you can lose your home in this country," said resident Bill Von Winkle, who said he would refuse to leave his home, even if bulldozers showed up. "I won't be going anywhere. Not my house. This is definitely not the last word."
Scott Bullock, an attorney for the Institute for Justice representing the families, added: "A narrow majority of the court simply got the law wrong today and our Constitution and country will suffer as a result."
At issue was the scope of the Fifth Amendment, which allows governments to take private property through eminent domain if the land is for "public use."
Susette Kelo and several other homeowners in a working-class neighborhood in New London, Conn., filed suit after city officials announced plans to raze their homes for a riverfront hotel, health club and offices.
New London officials countered that the private development plans served a public purpose of boosting economic growth that outweighed the homeowners' property rights, even if the area wasn't blighted.
Connecticut state Rep. Ernest Hewett, D-New London, a former mayor and city council member who voted in favor of eminent domain, said the decision "means a lot for New London's future."
"I am just so pleased to know that what we did was right," he said. "We can go ahead with development now."
The lower courts had been divided on the issue, with many allowing a taking only if it eliminates blight.
O'Connor was joined in her opinion by Chief Justice William H. Rehnquist, as well as Justices
Antonin Scalia and
Clarence Thomas
Nationwide, more than 10,000 properties were threatened or condemned in recent years, according to the Institute for Justice, a Washington public interest law firm representing the New London homeowners.
New London, a town of less than 26,000, once was a center of the whaling industry and later became a manufacturing hub.
More recently the city has suffered the kind of economic woes afflicting urban areas across the country, with losses of residents and jobs. Last month, the
Pentagon also announced plans to close the U.S. Naval Submarine Base, one of the city's largest employers, which would eliminate thousands of jobs.
The New London neighborhood that will be swept away includes Victorian-era houses and small businesses that in some instances have been owned by several generations of families. Among the New London residents in the case is a couple in their 80s who have lived in the same home for more than 50 years.
City officials envision a commercial development that would attract tourists to the Thames riverfront, complementing an adjoining Pfizer Corp. research center and a proposed Coast Guard museum.
New London was backed in its appeal by the National League of Cities, which argued that a city's eminent domain power was critical to spurring urban renewal with development projects such Baltimore's Inner Harbor and Kansas City's Kansas Speedway.
Under the ruling, residents still will be entitled to "just compensation" for their homes as provided under the Fifth Amendment. However, Kelo and the other homeowners had refused to move at any price, calling it an unjustified taking of their property.
Thomas filed a separate opinion to argue that seizing homes for private development, even with "just compensation," is unconstitutional.
"The consequences of today's decision are not difficult to predict, and promise to be harmful," Thomas wrote. "So-called 'urban renewal' programs provide some compensation for the properties they take, but no compensation is possible for the subjective value of these lands to the individuals displaced and the indignity inflicted."
The case is Kelo et al v. City of New London, 04-108.
___

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

yea Iowa!

Here's a pro-Iowa blog entry from a guy who works at Hancher, the main performance venue at the U of I.

http://www.hancher.uiowa.edu/blog/ron9.html

Monday, June 13, 2005

true love

So I was listening to Outright Radio, a gay/lesbian/etc. radio show on PRI (it's been cancelled, apparently, but they still run old ones), and they had a couple of interesting segments about non-traditional couples, talking about marriage.

One lesbian, tired of the old-fashioned 2-people-till-death-do-us-part thing, and very happy with her friendship with an ex-lover, had this to say:

"(ME) HERE’S THE deal; I think we shoud get our twenty people and we should get everybody put in a 1000 dollars (or like five hundred dollars poss cut) and we should have a big fricking commitment ceremony. (J laughing) OK.. that’s a great idea… (E) the question is, why would that be frightening to anyone, the idea of committing to twenty loved ones, the idea of saying I’m in this until our teeth fall out, until we’re old and grey and wrinkly… and what’s that going to look like?" She said that she did not believe that humans were meant to mate for life - instead, she believes we are more clannish creatures.

In describing this mass commitment ceremony, she was taking to its extreme her idea that love should be shared with community. She believed the friendship of ex-lovers in the gay community was an ideal that people of all orientations should aspire to. I can dig that, as I can dig the equality ideal that gay relationships seem to project.

I, however, have to admit I would be a little frightened of a mass commitment ceremony. I've always thought of big groups of people, loving each other, as orgies. Or, at least, the seventies.

On the other side of the coin, the show did a segment on a married couple. Not just any couple, though, a woman and a transgendered man (post-op - he was now a female). Though the (original) woman was straight, she believed in "till death do us part." The new-to-female woman described meeting her future wife at a dance. He (male at the time - sorry, this is very confusing to write) had been in a dating rut, and had decided to only date women who met certain criteria. This particular woman met none of those criteria, but he Knew she was the One. This Officer's Ball meeting ( I swear I didn't make that up) is the stuff of fairy tales, or at least a really good chick movie.

As the story went on, it grew stranger, complete with religious epiphanies (the couple are steadfast, somewhat disturbingly zealous Christians) and sex-change operations. I have to believe the (original) woman got the raw end of the deal in this - she admitted to missing family who had disowned them, not to mention missing having a man in her life. She didn't sound miserable though, she laughed good-naturedly about problems that would make others hit the road. For her, marriage vows were paramount. Perhaps things would be different, had the minister said, "Till death or sex-change operation do you part". Clearly this couple felt strongly about staying with one person for life.

So there's two points of view - what's yours? Is forever-love too high an ideal to even aspire to? Is "the One" simply "the one that was there when I wanted to find 'the One'" - something for religious zealots and simpleminded folk?

And when do we become too cynical? Is "love that passes" (J Joyce) really enough?


My only answer so far is this: women (or at least, I) spend way too much time creating and revising our philosophies on love.

Friday, June 10, 2005

If my life were a tv show...

I’ve created a game for you! It’s called: If My Life Were a TV Show. You play this by reading the TV show title, which has been altered to pertain to my life, and guessing the original show. Ready?

Celibacy and the Suburbs

Halfheartedly Seeking Kim

Everybody’s Parents love Ryon

Denise and Brian

5 Feet Even

What Not to Wear to Church

Trading Furniture

Ok, now I really should get back to work…

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

a shout out to my fellow mid-twenties crisis survivors

25 is another adolescence
You give up your complacence and get on the road
Pick right up and start again

Your clothes don’t fit the way they used to
And this isn’t what you thought you’d look like at this age

Might as well get used to it
(Things not turning out like you’d thought they would)
You’ll never be as young as you were
And you’ll never be done growing up

Like a middle-aged man,
You’re bald and fat and awkward
But not scared anymore
You’ve got a mortgage, a car payment
And a rock ‘n’ roll band

Might as well have your midlife crisis now
Get it out of the way
Hold your guitar in front of your beer gut
And get on stage

Because nobody gets it right the first time
Nobody looks back at their youth without regret
So you can forget about it now
You’re older and wiser
But more hesitant

That funny-looking old man
Doesn’t know he isn’t sexy
Doesn’t realize he isn’t cool

Go ahead and let it go
Learn what he knows
That later is too late
tomorrow isn’t guaranteed
And you’re never too old
To start again



(or too young)

whew

Okay, just for an update, I'm no longer in the funk I was in yesterday, if you read my last blog entry, and wondered about my sanity.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

so...

I hit some kind of wall today. Do you ever want to just sit around in your pjs for two weeks? That's how I feel. I lost a really good friend yesterday. I went walking with Ryon tonight and I just felt like - he's got this girlfriend that's really important to him, everybody's got somebody that's special to them, and I'm sort of on the perifory (sp?) for everyone. Nobody thinks, "omg, I'm so happy! I have to call Kim!" or "omg, I'm so sad! I've got to call Kim!" I'm just realizing how bad I've screwed up the past few years and trying to figure out where I should go from here. I come home every day to this empty apartment and wonder why I do anything I do.

Monday, June 06, 2005

School Days

Yesterday Denise and I brought an out-of-town friend, Brian, around to see all of our old schools. We started at Elementary and went on up. We had some silly moments on the playground which I hope to post soon. It was fun to hear their reminscing, and do some of my own. As Brian said, it's interesting how physically being in a place can remind you of things you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

So true

This is beautiful:

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/70710302.html