Why nice guys don't get laid

One of the top things I am tired of hearing men complain about is that nice men don't stand a chance with women - "It's only the bad guy that ever get the girl...the girl cries on the good guy's shoulder, then goes off to be with another bad guy." Now I will admit that there ARE some women who have a thing for bad boys, and that our culture glorifies them, and makes the good guy look like an unmasculine, soppy loser. This is definitely a problem. However, there are a lot of reasons BESIDES this cultural phenomenon that you, the nice guy, may not be getting yours.

1) You're not ACTUALLY a nice guy.

2) You're only a nice guy SO you can get laid (see #1).

3) You ARE a nice guy, but you have some other date-repelling flaw. A few of these are as follows:
a You are physically unattractive
b You don't get out much.....well, ever.
c You really REALLY like Star Trek
d You spend a lot of time complaining about how nice guys never get laid

*side note* Think about those women on Ricki Lake/Maury/etc. who say that they're so hot, that men are intimidated by them, and won't ask them out. And you're watching, thinking "You may be cute, but they're not asking you out because you're full of yourself." Yeah. It's like that.

4) You spend a lot of time with long-time woman friends, hoping that eventually they'll fall madly in love with you. Instead of going out to meet women who haven't already deemed you unattractive. (yes. they have.)

movie reviews

Hi! Time for Kim's movie picks! All are random movies that I've recently rented (new movies, what are those?)

PICK OF THE WEEK: Manhattan - a Woody Allen flick. All the usual Woody Allen elements (not to mention actors) are present - cynicism, the evil good-looking man that steals Diane Lane from Woody Allen (this has happened in three of his movies that I've seen so far), hysterical one-liners that come at you out of nowhere. The unique elements are the black-and-white format (exquisitely used), a Gershwin soundtrack which is used as an iconic backdrop (songs like "someone to watch over me" are thrown into situations that don't neccessarily fit them....the effect is ironic and sometimes comic), and believe it or not, optimism. I'd really love to see a Woody Allen film with an original soundtrack that was written for it - I think for him it would be a surrendering of control, so he sticks to jazz and classical standards, which serve more like allusions to literature than companions to plot.

THUMBS DOWN: A Wedding for Bella - starring Scott Baio. (You're asking - "Kim, why oh why did you rent this??" It was an independent flick in New Releases that claimed to have gotten rave reviews) This film started promisingly, with a series of images thrown together - a baker slamming bread, an Italian gypsy dancing in the street, to a haunting song by a solo singer. That however, was all we got to see of the bustling Italian neighborhood that everyone in the movie claims to be so in love with. Scott Baio's character considers leaving his corporate job to be a part of it, but we see so little of its beauty that we can't share it with him. We never get reasons for what the characters are meant to feel, we're just supposed to feel it. The film is awash with sloppy sentimentality, including a thinly-drawn love story with no chemistry, tear-jerking moments with Baio's dying mother-figure (I teared up, but felt like I had been coerced into it!), and a horribly annoying mentally disabled man who would make Lenny from Of Mice and Men seem like a breath of fresh air.

THUMBS UP: A Night at the Roxbury - A Sat. Night Live sketch made into a film. I'm not usually that into broad comedy, but this one is short, stays on course, and isn't overwhelmingly predictable. It's got some really good comedic acting by Will Farrell, whose character is very consistant and funny. Molly Shannon is also a lot of fun. It has a few slow spots, and it isn't a laugh-a-minute, but it doesn't get too bogged down anywhere. Music is used comedically throughout, and a knowledge of pop culture (pop songs and famous movie scenes) adds to your enjoyment of the film. It's not a great movie, but it's cute as hell.

THUMBS UP: Me Myself I - oddly titled (where's the "and"?) Australian film. Stars Rachel Griffiths (Muriel's best friend in Muriel's Wedding) as a successful but lonely 30-something who dreams of what her life might have been like had she married her college sweetheart. Then through a twist of fate/near-death experience/magic/whatever, she gets thrust into that life, complete with a big house, three kids, and a different job (rather than a journalist for a respected news/culture magazine, she writes articles like "How to Bring the Romance Back" in a lame women's magazine). But silly job aside, there are some real perks to her new life, and she finds herself starting to inhabit it. There are some pretty slow moments in the film, but it's refreshing to see the ups and downs of both single and married life shown in such an honest (no rose-tinted glasses) way. Note to self: look for more Australian films

the lonely Democrat

It's so strange to me that the more rural parts of the country are becoming more conservative all the time. I'm a country girl at heart, and to me democrats are working to preserve the environment, and combat urban sprawl, thereby preserving open spaces. Though I did read an article in the Washington Post or Guardian (I can't recall which) where they said that anti-urban sprawl legislation sometimes makes land more expensive and causes other problems when folks in the country want to own their own house and yard. But the greater mystery is how the spin-wizards of the right have made the republican party the party of religion. As a deeply religious person, I am shocked and awed (yeah I said that on purpose, sue me) to see my religion used as a justification for bigotry, unfairness, and even violence. And many liberals seem perfectly comfortable to see this tie between Christianity and ultra-conservatism made. I was at a party on Tuesday night, and I was one of the few "believers" there (at least one of the few that spoke up) as the politically-liberal partygoers discussed the disbanding of Christianity altogether, or having the more conservative and religious South and Midwest secceed (bad spelling), and allow the urban coastal areas to progress as they wish. But I don't believe a society can exsist without the tradition-upholding, value-minded people, any more than it can progress without the rebellious, forward-thinking movers and shakers. I think we need each other! But we don't see eye to eye, especially on issues like gay marriage and abortion. As someone who fits both in the traditional and rebellious categories (conservative lifestyle, liberal beliefs) I feel really isolated sometimes.......my liberal friends don't understand my reliance on faith, thinking it's wrapped up in guilt and duty like some churches preach it - and my religious friends find many of my more progressive beliefs heretical.
The problem with bigotry is that it's easier to see others' than your own. For instance, you can look at a confederate-flag-waving pick-up-truck-driving guy who lives out in the middle of nowhere, and decry his racism, and in the same breath call him white trash. I guess I'm just shocked to see the same level of ignorance in the supposedly educated cities, as there is in the country. And the same kind of us-vs.-them mentality!! As I told a guy at the party, you're looking at the world from the far right's perspective, when you lump all people of faith into a conservative column. It just plays into their plan to divide and conquer, when you say that we should just disengage from those who disagree.