MLK

Happy MLK day everyone!
My thoughts for this, one of my favorite holidays.
1) We really have come a long way.

Today, I went to Blockbuster, and as I was pulling out, a family started to cross the street, so I let them go. The father was reading something, and didn't see me wave him on, but his wife pushed him on while giving me a little nod of thanks. Their kids ran across the street, and the little girl stopped to give me a big wave and smile. I know this sounds like a really insignificant event, but it made me think about how things might have been say, 50 years ago. Would this black family have the middle-class income to buy those nice coats, or go rent a movie? Would this little girl be taught that it was ok to have a friendly exchange with a white woman? Insanely enough, I'm not sure that even that casual interaction would have occured in my town.

2) The reason that we've come a long way is because people have been brave.

Civil rights leaders of the 60's were thought of as radicals in their day. People thought they wanted too much change, too soon. Many people who are thought of as outlandish in their beliefs today will be considered visionaries and catalysts in the future. Are you willing to be part of an unpopular movement, to make the world a better place? They were. Are you willing to go against the status quo, when the status quo is evil? Can you afford not to?
People make fun of the women's movement, talking about bra-burning and over-zealous politcial correctness, without realizing where it has gotten us. One award winner from last night's Golden Globe awards was Hilary Swank, for best actress, in a movie where she plays a female boxer. That whole premise of that movie would have seemed ridiculous maybe 15, 20 years ago!
There are so many brave people that make change possible - people like Rosa Parks, and those little girls who were the first black children to go to their school after it had been integrated. People who were the first to be black, female, hispanic, disabled, homosexual, or whatever, in their profession. These people go about their ordinary lives in extraodinary ways and change the way we think just by being themselves. They deserve our praise and thanks.
Still, we must not forget the thinkers and dreamers like Dr. King. They too change the world with ideas, writings, speeches, and political action. They work in concert with the ordinary folks to make the world a better place. Sure, a lot of todays "thinkers" and politicians are more interested in notoriety and attention than making the world a better place. It is true that false prophets are everywhere. But I believe that visionaries and catalysts are among us still today. A lot of people think that everyone who has a political "agenda" is a machavellian glory-seeker. But Dr. King had an "agenda", too. He called it his "dream".

here we go again

How's anybody supposed to figure out what they're gonna do with their life? I'm so confused now. I wanted to write music but now I'm too scared to pick up a pencil! Composition lessons cost me $400 and I didn't even write anything. I think I was daunted by having to pay for them. Not that I didn't have to pay before, but I guess I didn't think about it, since it was paid by parental folks. Composers are always so much more intellectual and logical than I am. I guess I don't have to take on the elitist personality of some other artist in order to be an artist myself but those people really intimidate me. Maybe I should be a folk singer instead. But they are so troubled and full of their deep thoughts all the time that they annoy me too. Also I don't sound so good singing folk music. Help!

Queen Bee, LB.........two thousand......five?

Happy New Year! Well friends another year has come and I'm now well into my "quarterlife crisis", more floundering about as I try to figure out what to DO with my life is sure to come. Now I don't seem to be able to figure out where I want to go (though hindsight has been deeply and humorlessly helpful in telling me where I should have gone) but I know lots of places now that I don't want to go. Ahem. My anti-resolutions:
1) I don't want to get married or get in a relationship that's headed toward said partnership, for the wrong reasons.
2) I don't want to obsess about every decision I make, rather than just making a few. On the other hand, the right decision can be everything.....
3) I refuse to shop at pottery barn for cute furniture as a hobby. Shopping is not a hobby, as much as merchants and corporations wish people to believe it is. I was sitting with a friend, hearing her talk about redecorating, and thinking, "gawd, this is what she thinks about?" I love this friend, but hers is an interest I can't really follow. It's just too complicated and fucked-up of a world for me to care too much about what my kitchen looks like. I vow to never become one of the sort of adults who cares about that sort of thing. I was sitting around at a party tonight, with this goth chick and her boyfriend, who used to be all about art, were talking furniture and pets. No wonder idiots have taken over politics. Even the interesting people are getting dull. And I know that one doesn't follow the other logically, but it's 5 am, give me a break already. By the way, shoes do not count as frivolous shopping bull. Shoes are essential. I will always shop for shoes over furniture, even when I am fat responsible and married. Amen.
4) I will never try to act like everybody else to fit in. I will always say something crushingly serious when someone makes a "lighthearted" racist joke.
5)However......I won't be a rebel just for the sake of it. That's harder than it sounds. It's difficult to see the reactions that your decisions make in others, and just not be overly affected by them. It's much easier to either seek approval or actively rebel against others' intentions, than to ACTUALLY seek your own path.
6) I won't get a run of the mill 9-5 just because that way I get insurance, and all my friends are off work at the same time that I am. That's easier said than done too. When I started at the pool store, it seemed sort of noble - working a humble day job (with heavy lifting!) so I could have brain free for my church job. Turns out, filing and testing pool water drains your brain too. So on to plan B. Wait, I was supposed to develop a Plan B??