Secretly weird

In many big cities, people express their weirdness openly. They engage in performance art exhibits, cross-dressing, folk dancing, whatever. Des Moines is a little different. People are still weird, but kind of pretend they aren't. You don't really notice it unless you work at a pharmacy. Here's to all the crazies that make my day complete.

1) Lady who comes through the drive through blasting gospel with full bass, wearing a hat that looks oddly like a crown (it's sort of fabulous, though). She asks for 7 prescrcriptions, 5 of which are highly controlled narcotics that she's not due to pick up for another week. Then her eyes widen in shock and horror when you tell her she can't sit there while we fill the other two. Keep in mind we see her every two weeks or so. God bless her though, I'm starting to get a kick out of her.

2)Elderly lady who pulls up and recites her entire address including the extra four digits of her zip code, then smiles broadly as if she's performed a trick.

3)Guy who was also a coffee shop regular, who calls me "doll" as a form of endearment. I would be offended, if I didn't know that he's obsessed with 40s pulp fiction. Perhaps I'm the spunky young waitress, serving up meds rather than eggs?

4)Lady who throws old Christmas candy through the drive through window. I think she's offering us a treat, but one pharmacist views it as a threat. I'm convinced she does like us, though, one time I helped her find some hand cream or something. When I walked away, and had gotten about halfway across the store, she held the cream up in the air and cried, "YOU'RE WONDERFUL!"

5)Kind of scatterbrained pharmacist who was trying to understand extent of the wound a deaf man was explaining to her. She wrote on a piece of paper, "pussy?" The deaf man turned bright red and made an excuse to leave.