Fatness

A friend of mine told me that he finally won his battle with his weight when he embraced being fat. I've decided to do so as well - yay, I love being fat! I'm gonna buy a fucking mumu and a tiara and be the queen of fat!! I wanna go out in a bikini so people can gaze upon my round stomach! It's actually fascinating to me how I can gain weight all in one place. There are 3 inches difference between my hips and stomach - who can grow a stomach like nobody's business? I can! I'm sure anyone reading this would think that I am being sarcastic but I'm actually fascinated with my fat self, in sort of a disconnected way. I realize our society considers fat to be bad, lazy, even a little wrong. (don't get too skinny, though, that would make you even more wrong) But it doesn't really bother me all that much. To watch The Biggest Loser or somesuch, I'm fat because I hate myself, or my mother, or my situation in life. But that isn't it at all.

I ATE A LOT OF GODDAMN FROSTIES. FROSTIES TASTE GOOD.

That's it, my friend. My stomach is proud evidence that I enjoy the good things in life (i.e. frosties). Now, I may lose a lil weight, but this time, it won't be for anybody else - it will be that I love this cute, fat little chick and would like her to live a little longer. And for now, I'm gonna shake my little round ass to this song on the radio. Oh, did I happen to do that in your direction, haters? Oopsie.