Queen Bee, LB.........two thousand......five?

Happy New Year! Well friends another year has come and I'm now well into my "quarterlife crisis", more floundering about as I try to figure out what to DO with my life is sure to come. Now I don't seem to be able to figure out where I want to go (though hindsight has been deeply and humorlessly helpful in telling me where I should have gone) but I know lots of places now that I don't want to go. Ahem. My anti-resolutions:
1) I don't want to get married or get in a relationship that's headed toward said partnership, for the wrong reasons.
2) I don't want to obsess about every decision I make, rather than just making a few. On the other hand, the right decision can be everything.....
3) I refuse to shop at pottery barn for cute furniture as a hobby. Shopping is not a hobby, as much as merchants and corporations wish people to believe it is. I was sitting with a friend, hearing her talk about redecorating, and thinking, "gawd, this is what she thinks about?" I love this friend, but hers is an interest I can't really follow. It's just too complicated and fucked-up of a world for me to care too much about what my kitchen looks like. I vow to never become one of the sort of adults who cares about that sort of thing. I was sitting around at a party tonight, with this goth chick and her boyfriend, who used to be all about art, were talking furniture and pets. No wonder idiots have taken over politics. Even the interesting people are getting dull. And I know that one doesn't follow the other logically, but it's 5 am, give me a break already. By the way, shoes do not count as frivolous shopping bull. Shoes are essential. I will always shop for shoes over furniture, even when I am fat responsible and married. Amen.
4) I will never try to act like everybody else to fit in. I will always say something crushingly serious when someone makes a "lighthearted" racist joke.
5)However......I won't be a rebel just for the sake of it. That's harder than it sounds. It's difficult to see the reactions that your decisions make in others, and just not be overly affected by them. It's much easier to either seek approval or actively rebel against others' intentions, than to ACTUALLY seek your own path.
6) I won't get a run of the mill 9-5 just because that way I get insurance, and all my friends are off work at the same time that I am. That's easier said than done too. When I started at the pool store, it seemed sort of noble - working a humble day job (with heavy lifting!) so I could have brain free for my church job. Turns out, filing and testing pool water drains your brain too. So on to plan B. Wait, I was supposed to develop a Plan B??