Learned

Things that I've learned in 2004 (inspired by Elizabeth's financial lessons, and general musings about the year):

1) "Don't confuse your life with your career."

This was in a email-forward thing that my mom got at work, and sent to me, supposedly written by an old person looking back on her life. It's a good lesson for me, because sometimes I look at the the way my career has stalled, and feel like a failure. Or worse, I start to think of myself as "sales clerk at a pool store"! But that attitude comes from seeing myself as a title, or a category. I try not to look at others that way, and I don't think I should see myself that way either. I think that my career will always be a big part of me, but it's not the whole.

2) Take care of your money.

I've spent WAY too much money this year on finance charges, fees, etc. In order to be the independent, artistic woman "living from the tip jar" that I like to think I am, I need to conserve and be practical with my limited means.

3) Don't do things because you think other people would want you to do them.

Even people who have your best interests at heart don't really know YOU. Take the time to figure out what you really want. I'm not against saying "I SHOULD do this", because I'm not entirely opposed to the concept of duty. But take the time to figure out where the "should" is coming from, and if it's authentic and true.
Also figuring out where to go next and what to do takes time, and and there aren't any quick answers. It's hard in our busy world to not settle for convenient, watered-down spirituality. I actually read an article in The Other Side magazine about a communion-to-go tray some churches serve. You've got to wrestle with the questions for a while before you get an epiphany, or at least a little glow of understanding.

4) Falling in love is a dangerous business.

I'd do it again, but not in such a foolhardy way. I read bell hooks' Communion after my breakup, and liked many of the ways she defines love. She believes that love is a choice you make consciously, not a force that consumes you. I don't know. It's weird to feel regretful, and yet not, but that's sort of how I feel.

5) Real friends are always better than virtual ones (people you talk to on the internet that you've never met).

This won't really speak to anyone else but me, unless you're a bit on an internet addict too.

6) Be organized.

As a person who likes to "go with the flow" and be creative, I find organization to be kind of restrictive. But I find that if I don't think ahead and plan for the future, I end up with a lot more problems that restrict the creative "flow" than the actual planning does. My trouble is knowing where to stop planning. I tend to get on a kick and just keep going.