a place that doesn't exist yet

I watched a documentary tonight about Willa Cather - it's interesting how artists and writers' lives are so unglamourous. I couldn't help thinking she had quite a degree of nerdiness - plain face, a tendency to dress like a man....she found what seemed to be a love relationship with another woman, only to have that woman marry a man later in life. By some definitions, she was kind of a loser.

I often find biographies of great women kind of scary - as they almost always seem to include divorce, or loss of a major relationship. Madeline Albright, whose biography I am currently reading, was divorced by her husband just as her career began to skyrocket. He had stood by her as they lived in both New York and Washington, and his career had floundered, while hers took off. He took on the role of primary care-giver to their children as she worked longer hours in Washington (though she still fulfilled many domestic roles that a career woman today might not think of filling). He never begrudged her success, and became a successful journalist in his own right, though in his family's eyes, he should have been a magnate of some sort. All in all, though, it seemed an idyllic situation.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he left her for a much younger woman. He even made ugly comments about her gaining weight, and otherwise showing signs of age. Madeline was shocked and devestated, and for a time, emotionally immobilized. Her stasis did not last long, though, considering she afterwards became the US UN ambassador, then Secretary of State. Nevertheless, her story bothered me a lot. I wondered if powerful women (I'll never forget the magazine cover, with her wry grin on it, with the headline "The Most Powerful Woman in the World") don't get the happily-ever-after that the princesses do.

For some reason, Willa Cather's story bothered me less. Maybe because it was peppered with phrases from her writing - so poetic, so optimistic, in their way. No one who did not live fully, who did not experience life and love vibrantly, could have written such verses. I could not find one phrase in her writing that made me feel sorry for her.

I don't hope to be secretary of state one day, or anything resembling it. And I dont' think myself a Willa Cather. But I will always be one who does not shy away from power, at least that which is rightfully mine. The love stories of powerful women may always end in tragedy, but it is not their fault, for a life lived too devoted to career, and not enough to the upkeep of self and home. It is the fault of the society they live in. They are not the losers. They inhabit a place that doesn't exist yet.

The world changes both around, and because of the lives of strong women. You could look at their stories as cautionary tales - but to me, they are inspiration, and hand out a responsibility. These womens' legacies live on because we follow in their footsteps.