Luck

I was walking to the library yesterday, off to get my internet fix, when I heard someone singing in the ped mall (to all you non-Iowa City-ans, that's the pedestrian mall, where there often people randomly performing/preaching/screaming/generally making fools of themselves). She had the most beautiful, clear, Irish-style soprano voice! I looked around, half expecting some waify-thin lady with long curly hair, your stereotypical Irish soprano from Riverdance or a movie or whatever. Instead I discovered a very fat, disabled woman in a wheelchair, with an oxyegen tank attached, the little tubes twisted over her ears and into her nose. She had red hair and very authentic-sounding break in her voice. There was a basket next to her, with a sign that said, "rent money."

She looked like a someone I would usually pass by and think, "crazy bag lady", but she was (and I'm trying to drive this home) really REALLY good. This may sound egotistical, but that actually means something coming from me. Okay, everybody thinks they're an expert on singing. But I'm fanatical about voices. I took voice lessons for seven years, and have six years of schooling on the subject. Most importantly though, I listen to voices constantly - I listen to opera singers, pop singers, blues singers, R&B singers, Celtic singers, rock singers, country singers, bluegrass singers. My ear is trained to hear excellence in singing. The whole point of this is not to tell you how fabulous I am, but to say that when I perceive that someone has a serious vocal talent, it means something. Maybe not more than some people's more-expert opinions, but maybe more than Joe Blow on the street.

She was a better singer than I'll ever be, and here she was collecting rent money. With my mediocre talent I've been able to work in churches (or at least, get a lot of offers to work in churches :) ), and get paid to teach people to sing. I often get frustrated working in my go-nowhere secretarial or retail day jobs, thinking about my talent and intellect going to waste, but I was humbled by this far more tragic waste of talent. This woman was singing on the ped mall for rent, when she belonged on a stage (or at least in a tour of coffeehouses and pubs).

In the back of my mind, I've often believed that success is somehow earned. That people who make their mark in the world manage to do that because they are more confident, talented, intellegent, etc., than their peers. It's easy to believe - if you just go to a few random local concerts, and hear a few crappy performers, you can say to yourself, "well, there's a reason that they're stuck here in (name of your little podunk town)."

But that is bullshit. Success is ALL luck. Never flatter yourself that you have earned anything you have. Thank God for it, but while you're saying your prayer of thanks don't think for a moment that you have more of His/Her favor because of it.

I used to think that people who lived a more starving-artist lifestyle might be kidding themselves a little bit - maybe they just aren't good enough to cut it. Maybe they should face up to the reality that the big break just isn't gonna come.

But talent doesn't matter as much in a world where people would rather sit in their perfect homes and download perfect MP3s from perfect-looking artists, instead of going out to hear live music, experience art first-hand, and meet real people.

Maybe it's the rest of us who have been kidding ourselves.