goodbye office
Today I am saying goodbye to my co-workers at my non-profit office job. Not to get too corny about it, but the-life-I-would-have-had-if-I-had-stayed keeps flashing before my eyes. My co-workers have started going out to movies together, and I'm sure I would have joined them a few times. Maybe I would have made lasting friendships here; I've only been here for 8 months, and some of us were just starting to really get to know each other. My friend Stephanie has a room available in her house nearby - it's 350 a month - I could have lived there. The church job would be in full force now, or if I had skipped it, I'd be on the hunt for a new one - church jobs keep opening up around here.
A guy from a different department, that I had chatted with only very occasionally, but mostly just smiled at, came to my party and suddenly waxed poetic to everyone about what a nice person I am. He expressed regret that we didn't get to know each other, and I don't doubt we would have dated. I would have gone out for Indian food with Meena, and played golf with the girls from Frederick every Tuesday.
I would have found a way to make this life work, the way everyone makes do with what they have. I would have been promoted at my jobs, and had success. But I'd always be wondering...
posted by Kim @ 10:34 AM
3 Comments:
What profiteth a man (or woman) to gain the world, and suffer the loss of his (or her) own soul?
You are doing the right thing. Right with a capital "R".
yeah congratulations! your future is ripe with possibilities, I have no doubt everything you left behind(except maybe yer ma and grandma) are placeholder for the life ahead of you. It's like different actors step in to play the same roles. I hope you are blessed with a wonderful cast out there!
This always happens. I always do the same thing. Whenever I make a desicion to change something in my life, I go through the exact same thoughts! "But this was just starting to work out.... I was just starting to get to know so-and-so.... it would've been fine if I had just stayed" or "I should stay because [insert some not-very-important-reason-that-seems-more-important-just-because-I'm-leaving]." For example, I'm thinking (again) of leaving Triangle Wind Ensemble, because it irritates the hell out of me, but I am just starting to make some friends and band-contacts in there that I really like, and my sister is in there now, so I'm going through the same thought process.
For me, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side, no matter what (I wish I could get over that)!!! My mom calls me the "queen of 'what-ifs'". I think we are similar in this way, and that's why it's hard for us to make decisions. But kudos to you for actually doing it. I wish I had the courage to make a drastic change in my life. I think sometimes we need to take risks like this, even if it's a difficult transition, even if all the details aren't worked out, even if it seems like a "stupid" move because it's risky.
Don't look back. It's normal to experience this thought process. You made the right choice, and go with it full force!!! (Geez, why can't I listen to my own advice???)
I will miss visiting you in Frederick though :(
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