Self-improvement plans for hippies

I've decided to launch a self-improvement plan, but not in the traditional sense. None of the traditional New Year's resolution crap, like losing weight, becoming more organized, saving money, etc. If you want to do that stuff, you can buy one of those calendars with inspirational words like, "SUCCESS" "DREAMS" or something on them. I hate that crap. Instead, I am launching Kim's Hippie Plan for Self-Improvement.


So how does a hippie go about a self-improvment plan (WWaHD?)? He seeks his true self, then takes steps toward self-actualization.

For example, my first step is:
1) Stop dressing like a Republican.

This is what collegegrads.com says you should wear to a job interview:

Men
Necktie should be silk with a conservative pattern
Dark shoes (black lace-ups are best)
Dark socks (black is best)
Get a haircut; short hair always fares best in interviews
No beards (unless you are interviewing for a job as a lumberjack!)
Mustaches are a possible negative, but if you must, make sure it is neat and trimmed
No rings other than wedding ring or college ring
No earrings (if you normally wear one, take it out)

Women
Always wear a suit with a jacket; no dresses
Shoes with conservative heels
Conservative hosiery at or near skin color (and no runs!)
No purses, small or large; carry a briefcase instead
If you wear nail polish (not required), use clear or a conservative color
Minimal use of makeup (it should not be too noticeable)
No more than one ring on each hand
One set of earrings only

Notice how often the word "conservative" is used. And notice how ugly and boring these outfits sound. Not only are they uninteresting, they're unfashionable. Nude pantyhose? Do people still wear those? And what the hell is wrong with a beard?

Notice that these folks have followed the interview rules:




Seriously! Do you want to project this image? Think about today's offices - people are sitting in their cubicles, listening to Rage Against the Machine on their IPods, yet making sure to dress so that they don't offend the sensibilities of the Christian Collition, should they suddenly take a tour of the building.

Be yourself, people! The only thing that makes these silly rules stick is that everyone still follows them.